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Hotline


Summary

A humorous look at intercessory prayer in the liturgical church.

Characters

Props

Two telephones

Script

 

EFX:
(Phone rings. Father picks it up.)

Father:
Hello, Gracefield 777. How can I help you?

Jo:
Hello, Father, it's me, Joseph/Josephine.

Father:
Son/daughter, it's so nice to hear from you. What are you doing at the moment?

Jo::
A few of the family have got together, seeing it's Sunday morning, and we thought we'd give you a call. We're singing a few songs, and. . .

Father:
A good old singalong, hey! I love to join in a rousing chorus or two.

Jo:
Well, no, they're not those sort of songs, actually.

Father:
They're not!? Pity. Carry on.

Jo:

Well, as I was saying, Father, when we come together we thought we'd give you a call, as there are a few things we'd like to ask you.

Father:

You know I'm only too pleased to help you whenever you call. It's my greatest joy to hear from you. What would you like me to do?

Jo:

Thank you, Father. First of all, there's the Queen and the Royal Family.

Father:

Yes, they've been under a terrific amount of pressure lately. I can understand your concern. It seems the Annus Horibilus was scarcely the start of her troubles.

Jo:

Please bless them.

Father:

Certainly. How would you like me to bless them?

Jo:

Then there is our Bishop, Alan.

Father:

A hard-working servant of mine. But he does find it hard to say no, doesn't he! And he's trying so hard not to let you know how worried he is about his wife's health.

Jo:

Bless our Bishop, Father.

Father:

Of course. How would you have me bless him most?

Jo:

We pray for our vicar, and the wardens of our church.

Father:

Yes??

Jo:
I'd also like to mention Harry Emerson and Hilda Goddard, who are sick in hospital at this time.

Father:
Dear friends of mine, both of them. What would you like me to do for them? Even better, I have something that we could do together for Harry and Hilda. Listen, and I'll tell you what we can do.

Jo:
Then there's the poor and needy in our neighbourhood. Bless them.

Father:
Back up a minute. Would you not like to hear....

Jo:
(A bit more insistent) The poor and the needy.

Father:
....what I have planned for us to do....

Jo:
Father!?

Father:
....for Hilda and Harry....

Jo:
(Very insistent) Father!

Father:
Yes?

Jo:
Are you there, Father?

Father:
Of course, son/daughter.

Jo:
Thank you. For a minute I thought you weren't listening.

Father:
I'm still listening. Do continue.

Jo:
Please bless the poor and the needy in our neighbourhood.

Father:
Ah, now there's something we can really get our teeth into. I have been waiting for you to raise this, because I have a special task for you in the council housing block down the road.

Jo:
And also our missionaries overseas.

Father:
The fields truly are ready for the harvest, but they are struggling for lack of support. Here is what you need to pray for them....

Jo:
(Sings) A-men. Thank you for listening to us, Father, and we'll call again this time next week. Goodbye.

Father:
(Resigned) Goodbye.
(Enter Pneuma)

Pneuma:
Hello, Father, who was that on the phone?

Father:
Hello, Pneuma. A few of the family just called.

Pneuma:
Great. There's work for me then. What do they want me to do?

Father:
You know...I really don't know.

 

 

© John McNeil 1978

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